Now this is a unique love poem and I love the
various elements you have used to express difference and yearnings of one's love. All the way through there is a voice that is filled with longings...nicely penned :)

I have read some of your poems tonight and I think you are very much capable of creating great lines and images in any category... What I find trouble with is the direction of your style. Even within in one poem I feel multiple styles sometimes that are clashing, in my eyes anyway.. Have you read any surrealist poems, perhaps Andre Breton? I feel that it would
help you refine your writing..

Anyway, take care!
It was great reading you, thanks for sharing!