Comments : Backyard Adventures - Terry-Tu (The Parrot)

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    YAY wow, how cute.

    ...and there he was
    perched high upon
    the gum tree, eating
    nuts at a furious pace
    and...talking to himself.

    - I love poems starting in the middle of a story. And I have to admit I laughed here because when you mentioned him high upon the gum tree I couldn't help but think of a parrot being on Gum Tree, the selling site! I straight away imagined a beautiful park or garden surrounded by many beautiful trees and plants. I also like how he talks to himself as I think it builds to his cheeky character straight away.

    He never saw me approach
    so I was able to take in
    his purple head, orange breast
    and green wings blushing
    to pink at the tips

    - you paint him so beautifully, parrots are so varied in their colour but I do love the multi colour ones with such bright vivid colours through them. I do however like the wording "blushing pink at the tips" rather than blushing to pink? I think if this was a cartoon character he would be brightly coloured just like this to capture children's attention.

    but...it was his bright red beak
    that caught my attention mostly
    for, it never stopped moving
    as he devoured nut after nut
    in such a frenzy, finally dropping
    one on my head and...as I cried
    out in pain, he finally noticed me.

    - lol, they do have a sharp peck! I like how I feel I am observing him at the same time as you are, like I can see him also and am close to him. I also think it shows how busy he was eating in order to not notice you approaching since they are good at hearing and being alert.

    Eyeballing me for just a second
    he said "Pardon Madame, Je ne vous pas la-bas."

    I asked him "comment vous appelle-vous?"
    to which he replied "Je m'appelle Terry-Tu"

    - I like the French added in here because even without speaking French you can understand this conversation. The way you word the before and after, we can tell it is the introduction between you and the parrot. As for the spelling, I will trust you on that as I have never been able to speak French lol.

    Alone in my garden I was talking french
    ...with...a parrot and, he was answering me back!

    - I think French should have a capital here?
    I love the use of the exclamation mark at the end here, like you were so shocked at him talking to you in conversation, I could imagine you pinching yourself to check you were awake lol. I again, think this adds to his cheek, the fact he can talk back, he sounds quite posh at the moment, respectful and mannered but I get the feeling he is very cheeky when he wants to be, as parrots are.

    I asked if he would be staying
    a while and he simply replied..."Oui".

    - I love your ending because it leaves open a door for part 2*cough hint cough* We know he is planning on staying and so far we know nothing about him, why he is here, where his family are, who taught him to talk, why he is so hungry etc. It makes me ask lots and I could imagine this being a series just like Kuebiko.

    I enjoyed this :) Wonder if you could teach him English, there is so many things you could do, teach him the wrong words in English so he is very cheeky without knowing it. Or giving him a little family, or perhaps he is a little young parrot and a greedy little baby. Awww.

    Yes it is official... I will make it public.... I now own Terry Tu as well as Kuebiko. Lol

    Thank you :) xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Vic Johns

    Funny, witty & it rhymes. very good indeed !

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    Wow Hellon, that's an awesome poem with a sweet picture of you and the parrot conversing. And the fact that he was talking to you in French, I wonder how would it sound when a parrot could speak in different languages.

    Nicely done:)