Suffering.

Volume 1

I start with death; I died a thousand times
testing boundaries of where you had come
from, an unstable world I was no prolonging
the agony of.
I thought there was nothing left to lose-
an unredeemable soul who has seen
better days but knows the heart of a
child cannot always stay innocent
in the crowd.
I imagined you escaping the silence,
never lacing the skyline with "goodbye, again"
or harboring a collection of disappearing
acts I could play over when my lungs
let out a cry in the dark...

~

Volume 2

My life twenty years from now:
you are never home. Fresh ocean air
is devouring me because I hold the
need to be free yet my breathing
space cannot run the sand's expansion;
the night you left, there were tingling
force fields between nature as loss
became rewired to mean shock
and each vein opening was
always on display.

~

Volume 3

Honesty is expensive, so I amass
the steep price of each memory in
my heart, offer it up as the truth
unfolds and I become a windowpane-
not born to dance but gaze
while ballerina leaves search
the grounds for what my novella
was already without.

No more will I go back to the future,
dunes, lily avenues, rain trickling
on my open mouth,
for you are not there.
It would be foolish of me to
keep writing what cannot advance
for beneath the darkness,
all the sounds we ever
reflected become
bleached.

-
Written 8/07/13 @ 9:33 PM

Baby Rainbow's challenge from these random prompts:

testing boundaries
prolonging the agony
fresh ocean air
always on display
never home
the night you left
the need to be free
the steep price
unstable world
tingling force fields
back to the future
the truth unfolds
nothing left to lose
honesty is expensive
the heart of a child
born to dance
breathing space
memory in my heart
the silence
better days
goodbye again
I died a thousand times
in the crowd
a cry in the dark
beneath the darkness
disappearing acts