Maybe she just can't work a smile today,
maybe she just can't pretend.
You see her in her headphones
With a blank expression across her face.
That's her fighting the voices inside
Fighting the paranoia she feels when people look at her walking by.
Her lack of words or eye contact
Is the fear of her own mind
How it plays into her thoughts
Of how she is seen by the world.
You see her doodling broken hearts and blood inside of her full notebook
A few tears welling up in her eyes.
Shes still fighting
Fighting so freaking hard.
She writes to get the thoughts out
For them to be real instead of inside her head.
You see her constantly looking at her arm
The scars that show on her skin.
Those were when the voices won
When she couldn't fight them off.
Those marks that may confuse you
That you wonder where they came from
Are from her battle with herself
The fight that keeps raging on.
If you ask if she's okay
She'll say, "Yeah... I'm just tired"
Because she lies awake every night
Hoping that she will wake up the next morning
That the thoughts won't make her do terrible things.
She has those dark circles under her eyes
Because 3 hours of sleep is not enough to function
& she's doing her best to
She's tired
Tired of working so hard during the day
Then fighting off the badness inside of her at night.
How much longer can she take?
How long till she can't contain them?
How long till you notice somethings not right with the way she smiles
The hidden sorrow underneath it
Rolling off her eyes as she looks down
Hoping that maybe someone will see
Someone will see that she's weakening.
