There is this girl

There is this girl.
She is up tonight.
She is thinking.
Thinking too much.
Thinking of all the things she has done.
The past can not be redone.
But for her the battle is not yet won.
She is stuck in her past.
Her past is not quite over until she moves on.
So for tonight her past lives on.

There is this girl.
She remembers so much.
She remembers the abuse from someone else.
There was this boy.
She lost control when he held her down and forced her to kiss him.
His hands took an adventure, she was so scared.
What made it worse was his friend was there.
He was there by his side so maybe this boy could take a ride.
But this girl fought through and ran away.
She made sure nobody knew the next day.

There is this girl.
She remembers the face of a man.
He was much older than she was.
She trusted him because he was nice.
He gave her gifts and some advice.
He seemed like a very caring man.
But he stalked her.
Followed wherever she went.
She remembers his touch and to this day it makes her cringe.
She is still thankful that he never got his way.
This man disappeared one day.

There is this girl.
She is remembers herself.
She remembers all the things she has done.
She remembers the days of self mutilation.
Watching the blood spill from herself.
Never shedding a tear as the knife tore through her.
Letting her head rest and the pain flying away.
To bad it came back the very same day.

There is this girl.
She remembers the times she got so low.
She knew that it never really showed.
She put on a happy face for the world to see.
Even her family couldn't read.
She remembers that lonely night.
No one was home and hope out of sight.
She remembers the pain she experienced that night.
She remembers the pain in her throat.
She remembers the burn around her neck.
She remembers trying so hard to kick that chair away.
She couldn't take a breath.
The pain was unbearable and she worked to get the chair back.
She stood there gasping for air.
Thinking she almost left.

There is this girl.
She remembers becoming so ill.
So sick that she picked up a bottle of pills.
She took them down one by one.
Counting past the dosage she had read.
She just wanted to stop the chills.
But at number 8, she stopped so suddenly.
At that moment she was so scared.
The first time she actually cared.

There is this girl.
Nothing truly worked to rid her pain.
She tried everything but one thing.
She found the bottle and picked it up.
She drank it down without a cup.
It went down so easily, she just wanted to numb the pain.
She wanted to forget the things she kept remembering.
She tried to drink enough to say goodbye.
But instead she cried and cried.
She tried getting up, but fell to the ground.
Still realizing this was not her round.
She never got up the night.
She felt defeated.
Woke up the next morning not remembering that night, but remembering everything else that lead her to it.
It was time to fight.

There is this girl.
She wanted to take the steps to get better.
She wanted to let her parents know how she felt.
But she was stuck and didn't know the way.
But she did through what she loved and wrote a letter.
Meaning every word she said.
But she never told them the things she done.
Never even to this day.
All her parents wanted was for her to get help.
But that's not what she wanted.
She knew that all the doctors would do is shove pills down her throat.
So she took back her letter and said she didn't mean what she wrote.
Said she was just scared to be growing up.

There is this girl.
She is now all grown up.
Looking at her past.
Remembering everything that lead to today.
She probably wouldn't change a thing.
Even with all shes been through, it proved she was strong in a way.
Even when she caved in and fell to her lowest.
Even when she tried to end her own life.
She looks back on her past and she hopes that she can use it now.
She wants to help the world out.
She wants to helps young kids who were just like her.
And even though she struggles with her sadness to this day, she lets herself know it will all be ok.

There is this girl who is alive today.