My Angel

You came into this world
On a cold July afternoon
So tiny, so precious
So beautiful

I held you for a few minutes
Your tiny hand
Grabbed mine
I never wanted to let go

I looked into
Your big blue eyes
You were adorable
I felt something I had never felt before

I called you Angela
My Little Angel
The light in my life
After how you came to be

The nurses took you
I screamed and cried
I had to be sedated
My heart ached, I felt empty

I was barely 15
A child myself
I could not support myself
Let alone a child

I was raped
I fell pregnant
I could not kill you
So adopting you out was the best option

I always think about you
July 21st is hard for me
I imagine you having a Birthday Party
This year, you would of been 7

I have since had 3 miscarriages
I turned to Drugs to soothe the pain
Giving you up was the hardest thing I have ever done
My chances of having a child now are slim...

Sometimes, I want to find you
To be a mother to you
But you have a Mum now
A family who raised you, love you

You will always be
In my heart
And on my mind
My little Angela...

I was raped at 14, got pregnant and gave birth at 15. I could not keep her as I could not support her, it would of been unfair on her, I wanted the best possible life for her....so I adopted her out. She was going to a couple that could not have kids of their own...I turned to Drugs to help soothe the pain, I also suffered Anorexia and Bulimia. I will most likely never be able to have a child and if I do get pregnant, chances are I will not be able to hold the pregnancy and will miscarry. I would love to see her, I wonder if she is still named Angela? But I only ever wanted what is best for her, so as much as I would love to find her, it would not be fair on her....I will always love you Angela, you were the best thing to come out of such a terrible event xxxxx