Her Day

I really like this piece. I think it definitely is very different, and I know you mentioned it being out of your comfort zone, but I think it worked really well for you!

I would work on the rhythm a little bit - your lines break at interesting places, but you don't follow through each line with similar pacing. For example:

'beautiful dark silhouette lays by
her side"

and then a few lines down you do the same thing, breaking of for two syllables "her ears". It breaks the flow of the poem a little, so I would suggest something like:

'The sun is setting and this
beautiful, dark silhouette lays by
her side. She starts to walk
at the waters edge, and
listen to the white caps echo inside
her ears. Her nerves are calm,
as footsteps leave temporary beauty
in the sand...'

You can absolutely do a full stop yet continue on in the same line :)

One thing that threw me off that was fixed in the revision above I did was

"Her nerves are calm as footsteps
leave temporary beauty in
the sand."

I thought you meant her nerves are as calm as footsteps, like a simile, but I was reading wrong, because you meant different. I would either change the spacing, or add punctuation (or both, like I showed you above).

You really show so much promise, it's just fine tuning the logistics of it all :) The content is all there, and sometimes that can be the hardest part. You're improving so much, so definitely keep it up! This is one of the best I've read! :)

I always envy a free flow like this, and the imagery is outstanding .

This is a really great poem. I couldnt stop rereading the poem :)

Wow this is so beautiful, I love it, this really cheered me up, wonderful description and word play, outstanding writing, you are truly talented, bravo bravo, and two thumbs up!!

This poem makes me feel so at peace inside. I love the beautiful imagery you bring to life again. The ocean or beach is a very lovely place to write about. It can really make love come alive and heal a hurt heart. I love the twist at the end as well because you make it seem like she is all alone and then at the end you have her meet her other half. I love this poem. I wish I could nominatelove poems. I think of it highly. 5/5