When people look at me,
They notice my smile,
What they don't see,
Is I haven't been okay for awhile.
They don't notice the dark circles under my eyes,
People don't see how hard it is to stay awake,
They believe all of my lies,
All the emotions I show that are fake.
When I was younger I glowed so bright,
Now I have an underlying darkness,
When people ask I say I'm alright,
Yet each night my mind turns into a mess.
People don't see the scars on my arm,
Those marks that won't go away,
Who knew I could put my body to harm,
The urges still like to stay.
Now that I'm older,
I know the pain of loneliness,
Endless times I have been hurt,
Each time life appeals to me less and less.
Luckily I fight through,
Trying to stay for the ones I love,
I don't know what I'd do,
If they all gave up.
I'd probably take some measure,
To take away my life,
I am completely sure,
I wouldn't fail if I tried.
For now though I'll continue faking happiness,
I'll hide away inside my feelings,
I will continue fighting all the urges,
Even though they try to control me.
