The Next Time

Brilliant - loved the way you chronicled the way your life would go - and the end's superb.

Hi,

I like how you have a theme going on here, a repetition of the line "the next time...". I would suggest writing "the next time you see me" as it sounds better (in my opinion) than "the next time you'll see me".

I would also suggest writing out "and" instead of using the symbol "&" to make it look more professional.

First line: "times" should be singular.

Your voice and tone stands out in this, almost like with the closing lines, you are reminding this person you lived a full, well-rounded life and did not succumb to disappointments or rejections. It would be neat if you could give the reader more detail and imagery with the lines about marriage, and raising children, instead of "telling" the reader and explaining, try to "show" more.

Wow i have no w0rds u have captured a whole dream life and death very nicely . .during reading this poem i imaged every th0ught n m0ment..i am thinking if our dreams becme realty we will never wish for anything else. .
Very nice p0em ..