''When you think life is unfair to you, remember it's unfair to others as well, and that makes it fair.''
is the quote I once happily presented to my teacher
who suggested that I should write it on the green board for all my classmates to see.
And I felt quite happy, indeed.
I had everyone's attention for once, even for a single second that no one else seemed to appreciate because so many more would follow, for them.
Some time ago, I heard a story about a really sad girl who didn't know what to do so as to look beautiful and sound smart enough to make people listen to her.
She asked for nothing more than what true friends can find in each other but the cruelty and the ugliness the world showed her made her believe it was as impossible as a miracle to experience trust and honesty and acceptance
instead of hatred, rejection and continuous bullying.
That girl, struggled with problems none of her peers were familiar with
and she battled against her own self,
added to the group of popular and socially accepted kids who had the audacity to call her a bunch of names because she just wasn't like them,
as if depression didn't make her feel worthless already.
The girl didn't last long.
She eventually gave up on life,
gave in to her insecurities
and faced her biggest childish fear which in her last days didn't actually sound like a bad idea.
Tied a rope around her bruised neck, pushed the chair and was left hanging
until her older sister
-whom she always wanted to look up to
but could never compete with-
found her.
Now, a kind-hearted person would expect her teachers, her classmates, her so called friends
and loving parents to grieve, to mourn for their loss
and then understand how wrong their ways were
but in reality, selfishness is so much stronger
than objectivity and perception of what's wrong and what's right.
So the girl's final words of forgiveness to everyone
that ''just didn't see the signs'' were misinterpreted
as arrogance and excessive confidence.
As much as I'd like to believe that life isn't hard on me and that there are worse things that could happen to me than this,
I cannot believe that quote I once happily presented
in order to wow everyone.
I've come to realize there is no way I can convince myself to believe something that is just not true,
just to feel better for a little while.
Life IS unfair to many people.
Some are lucky.
Some have it easy.
Some die in their sleep.
Some die by their own hand.
Some will be trully missed
and some others will be seemingly missed.
I just hope I don't end up being the heroine of my story.
