I lay down in a bed of deceit and lies,
Surrounded by our fabricated love
And useless attempts to persuade others
To believe that we are alright.
I crawl away from you in this darkened room,
Your eyes burn with lust and hate,
The back of your hand strikes my cheek
And a yelp escapes from bruised lips;
But that's only at home,
Where the real you resides.
When we go out with our friends,
You smile and kiss me with a morbid passion,
One empty of emotion, one acted out perfectly;
A beautifully scripted appearance.
You weren't always this way, that's what confuses me.
I miss the way you used to be, happy and loving, caring and gentle
But with each day you drank more and more,
With each hour you grew violent.
My heart is captured by the sincere fear of leaving you,
Would you come after me, beat me more than now?
I'm afraid to utter that last goodbye, I flinch at the thought,
Your blows more than on the surface.
Who is this stranger I lie next to?
How did you come to be this abusive shell of yourself?
I beg for the old you to come back to me,
Before you yourself hit me one too many times.
