I tell myself that I'll be fine,
That I have to be strong
For the people I surround myself with,
Strong enough to not let the tears fall.
I find myself sitting on the couch,
Knees brought to my chest,
No one around me, no one to see
How hurt that has made me.
I bury my face into my legs to muffle
The shuddering sobs leaking from
A mouth that trembles and begs for
The pain to end; to just let me disappear.
I ponder throughout each wrack of my shoulders,
How I could feel anything anymore if I do, truly,
Have this empty abyss of a heart, mind and soul,
But the hurt still weighs me down.
I wipe the tears as soon as I hear someone
Approach the little sitting area, plastering a smile
On stained cheeks; laughter forced out of my lungs
At a somewhat cruel joke.
Ask me if I'm okay, I'll lie and say "of course."
Ask me if I'll be alright, I'll lie and say "of course."
But deep down I'll be screaming in the confines of my chest,
Begging, pleading for someone to see through the act.
