Eternity

There's a barrier I won't cross,
A guard I won't let fall.
I push it firmly aside,
Can't cope with it at all.

I can't entertain the notion,
Won't allow myself to go that deep.
Learned from the first time,
So I sing myself to sleep.

I'll never escape the reality,
It's one I just can't abide.
I refuse to focus,
From the things in which I hide.

I've been there before,
I know of the erupting pain.
I lost myself completely,
Lived it out in vain.

I shy away from thinking,
Of remembering that day.
Distance myself from the memories,
It hurts too much to say.

She was far beyond special,
Someone I could only dream to be.
That I was incredibly lucky to know,
And I can't set her free.

I'll never understand it,
Never say goodbye.
So please don't ask me to,
No, don't even try.

She was my everything,
Grandma, mother and friend.
And I won't let go,
She's with me until the end.

09/22/12