"but you
wasn't there."

wasn't should be 'weren't' :)

I love how your first stanza you bring in opium paired with the hallucination.

This poem is so sad.. you have a lot of sad poetry lately and makes me wonder how you're doing lol. The second stanza holds it all for me and I really love it.. the descriptive nature is back here and it makes me cling to the poetry.

You're bathing in the glory of calligraphry, paired with the lotus flower, almost as though you thought you were being drenched in beautiful things, only to find out it was held too close, too precious, and upon of pedestal -- placing whatever it is above anything else, and it's flawed, but maybe you can't see that..

until you do. And then you realize the lie that there was belief... or was there? You never know because of the image of beauty before.. perhaps you longed so much for something beautiful in your world that you'd cling to it, even if it were dangerous to you.

Perhaps I'm reading way too much into that, haha! This poem really made me think!