The Pacific Is Never Pacified

by JaneDoeWrites   Sep 8, 2013


Fingers mostly on the strength,
she is ripe for a big change-
so when she meets the elusive,
she is more smitten.

The more that he holds her off,
the more she wants to be with him.

Notoriously,
he teases her about sailing
but ropes off this disaster
to the dock.

She's filled with
the power of young love
but how true is love if the only waves
it follows are the waves of clock hands,
the ones waving goodbye?

So she'll sleep on that dock
and blow kisses to the sunset,
hoping that they'll go sailing tomorrow.

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is beautiful, Crystal! I'm so glad that you started the Flashback Friday activity or this gem would have missed! It's sad that pieces like this go unnoticed!!

    She is ready for a change, any kind of change...so when she meets this man, she is already ready to go down any course with him. The more that he distances himself from her, playing hard to get, the more she wants him, the more she needs him. He continues to tease her and then just ropes off any chance of them being together. I love the sailing metaphor you used! It's truly incredible!

    "She's filled with
    the power of young love
    but how true is love if the only waves
    it follows are the waves of clock hands,
    the ones waving goodbye?"

    - LOVE this! She is young and sometimes when you are young, you yearn for any kind of love... you end up infatuated by someone that doesn't deserve your love. I love the metaphor of the clock hands waving goodbye to the time that is spent, great metaphor.

    The ending is sad because she is left waiting for him to call, to be with her... she'll kiss the sunset, hoping that tomorrow he will decide to sail away with her.

    Great write!

  • 10 years ago

    by Masked metaphor

    Fingers mostly on the strength,
    she is ripe for a big change-
    so when she meets the elusive,
    she is more smitten.
    ^^
    Great way to open up your poem jumping straight to the love of this character for someone, I love the word choice you have used it pin points deeper emotions

    The more that he holds her off,
    the more she wants to be with him.
    ^^
    Great imagery established here - I can visualise the play of getting hard to get and how it effects your characters feelings

    Notoriously,
    he teases her about sailing
    but ropes off this disaster
    to the dock.
    ^^
    I like the link to the sea and sailing and the play of words you have used here to display your ideas

    She's filled with
    the power of young love
    but how true is love if the only waves
    it follows are the waves of clock hands,
    the ones waving goodbye?
    ^^
    Wow I love the use of a rhetorical question in this stanza - it really is so deep and I love the way you embedded the idea of a clock waving a great sense of personification coated with metaphors!

    So she'll sleep on that dock
    and blow kisses to the sunset,
    hoping that they'll go sailing tomorrow.
    ^^
    I like the imagery of blowing kisses to the sunset - so clear you can truly envision it

    Wonderful write!
    thankyou for sharing it

    5/5 from me

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