Why we're bleeding

by Saerelune   Sep 9, 2013


1. We had nothing much in common, except our sadness.
2. We only spoke when no one would listen to us.
3. We couldn't dream at the same time with a six-hour time difference.
4. I thought you couldn't swim, but there you are, drifting away.
5. I was trying too hard to save you.
6. I can't distinguish between you and my psychologist.
7. You didn't really care about me.
8. I lied.
9. You've begun hiding things from me.
10. Someone else is listening to you now.
11. In the end we didn't love each other; we loved each other's company.

9-9-2013
8:42 PM

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    This really is a great sad poem. It blew me away from the thought provoking and well detailed. The title drew my eyes and drew me in and the poem made me stay. :). I do love the list style too because I feel it proves a point. It really is unique in this style. The numbers don't bother me as much actually because I relate lists to numbers. I feel it makes it easier to picture or it could say that those are the top reasons. There are so many more though. I love how you personalize it though. It makes the reader think about what is so simple but its true. I think my favorite lines are number 2 and 4. I think two people who are sad connect more and its true we feel like no one listens and its hard to deal with. I love the drifting away because it does feel that way at times. Number eleven sums up the poem so well. It makes you think that love is very difficult to fall for. Overall I saw no flaws. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Britt

    I like the grocery style list you have.. however I don't like the use of numbers here. I feel like it makes it completely... un-poetic? if that makes any sense?
    However...

    "We couldn't dream at the same time with a six-hour time difference."

    I love that. The distance between you created a gap, and not only physical but it pulled you away emotionally. You couldn't pull together anyway with the differences here.

    # 11 breaks my heart -- the familiarity of it all, the company, even though it may be lonely it's better than being completely alone. I've identified with that before.

    This was really a very sad poem. Full of heart and emotion, but my only nitpick would be the numbers. ;)

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