Precipice.

by Poet on the Piano   Sep 11, 2013


Hercules, I've never seen you before but have caught your voice
many times when the sun in my veins was dispatching itself
from alienation. And so you began the journey
('I can go the distance').

Unlike you, I am just mortal. But with love you grew up from,
in safe eyes and warm glances, you realized fitting in
was not a reason to stay shielded. Strength did not define you,
heroism did.

You did not want to remain level with soil and earthbound hearts,
you clutched your family's gaze from the window side
but knew you could carry home along your back
as winds took you forward...

Try, try, try the mountains.

My mind clears from defraying hours imprisoned in my guilt,
reflection, and time with a person I no longer understand.

I will not always be on my own, my words won't always be
muffled with humidity, someday I will climb in the wilderness
to the side of the world others smirk at as being unreachable-
a treasure no human soul can become a sight of.

Hercules, I know you fought for immortality
but that is not imperative for me. As long as I can say
before my bones grey that I have sung my muscles
into determination, then, I will know I tried

living.

-
Written 9/11/13 @ 10:13 AM
last edit 9/13/13 @ 12:05 PM

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    I've been reading this piece since a while, and I'm not sure what it is, but I am convince that it will benefit more if you wrote it like a letter style rather than breaking it into stanzas.
    And also filling in a little bit more info into a few parts to connect each of the stanzas.

    You have some pretty good lines, I do think a few edits will make this piece stand out. My favorite part for some reason was the "try, try, try the mountains" and a few others from each stanza. :P

    This part though:

    I will not always be on my own,
    my words won't always be jammed
    with metal,

    ^ I'm a bit lost on this part, specially on the metal part... could you elaborate a little more? I mean try to connect it with the previous stanza someway or another.

    Other than that, I really think this piece has potential.

    • 11 years ago

      by Poet on the Piano

      Thanks so much for the feedback, that was really insightful to me and I appreciate the suggestions! I actually wrote this at school and didn't take time to edit, which I should have. I will definitely spend more time on this. Hm, never thought about letter format and with "my words won't always be jammed with metal", I meant they aren't smooth and able to transfer easily from one to the other.

More Poems By Poet on the Piano