Comments : Ashes [Senyru]

  • 11 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    This is very sad sweetie. But I will break it down.

    First line- this holds such powerful wording and imagery. I never thought of tears as intimate but I can see that for sure. I love the word tears with rain. When I think of rain I think of a lot of down pours. When I think of this line I see a down pour of tears from your eyes. That means I think you are really hurt and intimate enhances that. I think of love when I hear intimate so maybe a lover hurt you and caused your eyes to rain. Just my thoughts.

    Ashes of a heart blowing- This line is also very powerful. What I first thought was your heart was burned and left for dead so that's where the ashes come in. Blowing I like too because I think of the wind so you were left blowing in the wind?. I can see the beach or some kind of water area. Then the last line you are left empty and hallow. I like this line because this whole poem has a tone of sadness so that just adds to it here. You have done such a great job saying what you wanted to and bring out the sad in this. I can tell has the reader you put everything into it. Great work.