This is a very touching poem, and it reflects your feelings very well ... we all wish this didn't happen and that things could have turned out a different way. Just, sometimes, in life things don't go as we expect them to and we need to do the best that we can in the situation that's presented to us.

And I think you are doing your best. You write poems that are touching, that can externalize something that normally is just kept secret in the thinking that nobody else can understand what people are going through, you write poems that make people understand your path towards the happiness that you are bound to find some day.

You are looking for your happiness, and mostly, for the happiness of your son. And one day, as you see him walking proudly down the street as a young man, you will be proud that you'll have contributed to make him become what he'll have become, and it will be your merit, because your love, your stubborness, your willingness to keep fighting ... will have influenced your son more than anything else, and he's already feeling it more than you think.

You are a great mother Jenni ;)