Why Didn't They Listen?

A deep sadness has filled me...

It was too early why didn't they listen? It wasn't supposed to go like this

I can look her in the eye without looking and feeling like a reject now. I feel like someone who just doesn't matter.

she said No to the person everybody said would say yes to.

It's not about finding someone better then her like everyone says. Women shouldn't just come in and go out of Guy's lives easily.

I'm not angry at my friends, or her but I'm angry at the facts, but like always nobody understands...

Knowing nobody will ever possibly like me in that way...
Knowing that there is a chance I will never be good enough for her...
Knowing that all my thoughts of what we could be were lies and just fantasy...
Knowing all of it was a lie from the start...
Knowing that all of the things that go on in my mind about us will never come to reality...

The others only kiss her once as if it were perfect... But I would do it many times... To ensure it
And they would do the worst and most cruel thing to cause her pain by leaving her...

If she knew completely how I felt with absolute empathy would she reject it?

For me only God could be more beautiful.

Through my mind in an almost true world she is clothed in light and the queen of the land. She would wear the fleece of only the most legendary and exquisite of rams I hunted from across the world. she would eat from dining-ware meant for emperors and empress's of crystal from the best of craftsmanship that I could find.
She would rule with a tender heart and soft words and be treated however she wills. I would not blink, sleep or eat if it meant leaving her to any danger. I could hold her in my arms for the rest of my life. I couldn't sleep through a night knowing she wouldn't be there in the morning. I could go on for days and days about her. She is the one who shows compassion and the one who's words calms me. I would comfort her in her sadness, talk to her in her anger and rejoice in her high spirits. But most importantly she is the one I love. But devastatingly it's all just fantasy. It is All lies.

It's not something that all happened at first sight. It was true and it was Good. But it was only what i had for her. It wasn't just yet that it was supposed to happen. And now there's no fixing it. It's gone... All of it.

What is the difference between me and the ones she dates? Where did i ever go wrong. What did i do that i could have changed? I live a life of loneliness now made permanent.

In the end love is all a lie. And I'm still alone left dying in a hole again. Feeling as if I'm falling forever and I can't take hold of anything.

I feel as if it were all my fault that I was never good enough for her. I feel like I could have been someone more, but am I wrong? Or is it all i could have done?

Even a week later I still feel as if she is part of me, still hiding somewhere in my heart just waiting to be found.
I can't even look at her as if I am ashamed of loving her. I can't help but end up thinking of her every day now.

I love her and there isn't a thought against it.