Comments : My Sunshine

  • 11 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    The imagery you bring to life is always so great and I don't know how you do it at all. I love the many elements here too. From what I could see I saw happiness, nature and friendship and they all work well here. I love first of all how you describe the sky as something happy. When I imagine a sky I see blue and no clouds. The birds singing happily and the sun shining bright. I think thats how a heart feels when its full of joy. I love the second stanza as it brings the sunshine to life. I love how you select the sun as one thing and you used it so well. The sun is light and feels warm when you wake up. Storms is a great word to use to compare to the sun. Tears are storms from your eyes and the sunshine helps you cope with them. The ending is great to tie into what you want to say to this person. You have done a great job in showing how much you care about this person without really saying. The sun is a perfect metaphor to what a friend or love can do. Warm your heart on the worst of days. 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Hellon

    I just knew this was going to be a happy poem when I read the title!

    You are the sunshine hanging in my sky,
    between fluffy clouds of hope, and birds
    that soar with freedom.

    ^^^^

    I like how you own the sky here...it's your sky and doesn't belong to anyone else for now....love that thought!

    You are the sunshine that brightens my day,
    shining through my window as I wake up
    with a smile upon my face.

    You are the sunshine that dries up my tears,
    chases away my darkness, and protects me
    through the storms.

    ^^^^

    Again, you refer to this person as sunshine...something or someone that makes you feel happy. Someone who makes your storms feel not so bad. I'm assuming the storm is a metaphor for thoughts that sometimes come to your mind?

    And you are the sunshine that makes me believe
    I can be anything I want to be.
    You are the sunshine that taught me love,
    showed me the road to freedom,
    and fixed my wings so I could finally be me.

    I love the ending because it leaves the reader with a sense of relief/hope...