A War

Why did I have to find it?
Hiding in the bathroom drawer
It's so hard to resist
I'm finding the urges are closer to taking over.
A small piece of metal
Most would find it completely harmless
But what the broken ones know
It can cause a quite big mess.
The deathly beauty of this blade
Where it's your pen and your wrist is paper
So many stories are made
From each time you were too hurt to be stronger.
It's making its way closer to me
Calling my name over and over again
This object plays out to be
My much needed medication.
It fools those who need a way to cope
Into thinking it'll make you strong
Until you carve your skin leaves no hope
Boy, weren't you wrong?
A blade can be so addicting
Each moment it's not painting you you want it
It's so hard to break free
Of the monster that haunts you's tight grip.
The demon that lurks
In the coldest parts of your soul
Produces all the hurt
It makes your world so cold.
This beast that has become the closest thing to you
Keeps the addiction rapid and free
It takes everything you can do
To notice what this thing's turned out to be.
How do you get it out
Without hurting yourself?
How do you shout
When no one can hear you crying out for help?
The battle between this monster
& the blade
It's a battle of horror
The chemicals in your brain have made.
Either you win the war
Between yourself and the things that are killing you
Or you can't go any farther
& it wins- and you lose.