The Friend Whom I Betrayed

by Amy   Sep 27, 2013


We came so close, face to face,
A tear within her eyes.
I ask her what's wrong,
But she just walks on by.

I remember the the face of unhappiness
Staring straight at me.
She seemed alone
Without someone to set her free.

I was there watching,
Staring at the horror
Of the poor girls life
But I was unable to help her.

I wish I could redo the past
But it's too late,
She's damaged forever
And all because of me.

I wish I could've held her close
Comfort her broken heart.
I hate myself for what I've done
To my friend whom I've betrayed.

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    For starting, it's a good piece. My only critique is try to keep the poem either in present tense or in past tense where it needs to be. For instance, the first stanza starts in past tense, but then it goes to present tense.

    See:

    We came so close, face to face,
    A tear within her eyes.
    I ask her what's wrong,
    But she just walks on by.

    Suggestion:

    We came so close, face to face,
    there were tears in her eyes.
    I asked her what's wrong,
    but she just walked on by.

    ---

    Then on the second stanza on this line:

    " I remember the the face of unhappiness"

    --- I believe there was a typo. A double "the."
    Other than that, I think this was good.

  • 11 years ago

    by Bobby whelan

    I felt this

  • 11 years ago

    by Alanis

    Its a sad poem. It has a good flow and an outstanding aray of emotions, my only Critique would be that the ending is a bit sudden, maybe add another line before that? But that's jst my opinion. Keep writing bestie

Read All Comments (3)

More Poems By Amy