by Alanis Sep 28, 2013
category :
Life, society /
about society
"Take me on a journey!" She cried. "What ails you my dear?" Questioned the friendly face. "Ignorance," She replied smoothly "Why you are only a child, nothing should concern you but the shoes on your fragile feet and the threads that cover your pale skin," "Yet, my existence is based upon the same values and purpose as yours," "What might that be?" "Wisdom, faith and hope," "My dear child, do not speak such rubbish, your mother would surely put you to bed if she heard!" |
The dialogue is well done. It takes a while but I come to believe the child is truly as wise as she sounds. Certainly you would not expect such words from one so young. |
by Lemon
A very interesting writing style! I love finding new types of poetry :). My only criticism is that I don't think this is a monologue- surely it's a dialogue because there are two people speaking? Forgive me if I'm wrong :) |
by Amy
Really amazing! Such a wonderful way you've written it. By far my favourite! 10/5 |
by Redangelwings
This is a very cute and interesting poem from you haha. I adore monolouges as well so that totally drew my attention. I love how you talk about a lil girl here. I love that she seems to be smarter than she appears. Nothing should concern a child at all but this child is very witty and has a stubborn heart haha. I think we all want to be free and smarter and no one truly knows what we are doing here in life. That is what we have to find out. I like how there seems to be a narrator here or a angel or something or someone watching this girl. We all have our own opinion and believe what we want to learn. I think this girl could be you as well or you when you were little. We question a lot of things in life too so I think we can connect to this character. Imagination cones from a childs like wonder and this girl has a good one. I loved this poem though as it shows how smart lil girl or lil kids can be. Very interesting haha. I loved it. Xx 5 |