Comments : Summit (haiku)

  • 11 years ago

    by Amy

    Wish I could be carried higher myself

  • 11 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    This is a really good poem here. I personally love haikus as they show how much a writier can do with such amount of wording. You are standing at the summit and there is so much imagery there as I believe you could be in a mountain or a cliff or at a high point in your life. Most likely the former though. This line the first one has so much saying in it though. I know you are restricted and you started out strongly toshow you are at an eminence here.

    The second line is my favorite from the three because Ilove the stara and if you read my ppoems you will see that lol. I think we all wish we could fly or climb toward the stars. We all want to be angels someday and I believe stars are just angel eyes watching over us. I like how you worded this line though. You want to be sent to the stars. The first and second line connect so well. First of all you imagine this so well. You climb to the highest point you think of then you pretend to be a star or fly towards them with an angel watching you.

    The ending is good too. I wish you can do more to this poem and I totally think you could add more than haiku here to expand the climb so to speak. You want to be carried higher. I guesd the dark twisted side could be your death and you want to go to heaven but I don't think that is the case. Again I see no errors here at all as is connects so well. You have done such a great jobadding nature elements to a life poem. I can also tell you wish this to happen someday so you put so much heart into this. Xx 5

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I like the repetition and stress of the "me"'s here. It is not a statement of doubt but of a request. You know you can get to this place in your life.

    "Summit" is such a strong word, don't hear it used too often but we all want to see from that view, be able to know we have climbed up there.

    Beautiful haiku. Keep writing.