I'm simply hanging on
Grabbing onto anything that'll keep me up
The last thread sewn
It's about to snap under my weight.
I'm afraid this time I won't get back up
I'll be on the ground forever
Gasping to breathe
Suffocating under the death that fills me
Becoming what I'm fighting so hard not to become.
I try every single day
To be strong
For him
For me
For everyone
But sometimes it's too hard
Sometimes I just can't keep it together.
I want to scream
But I stay silent
I want to cry my eyes till they run dry
But I just sit there shaking
I want to cut until I see nothing but blood on me
But I hold back.
I just want to find stability
In my unstable mind
I'm up and down too often.
Running on 4 hours of sleep each night
Dark circles under my eyes
Red and puffy from tears
Bright red cuts on my arms
& when they ask
All I say is,
"I'm fine, really."
I can assure anyone
I am NOT fine
I am NOT okay
Don't believe me
Don't for a second think that I'm doing well
Because I go to a place
Every single day
Where I remain feeling worthless and hopeless
Then I go home
& I'm hurt even more
Battling so many things at once
The gravity of this world on my back.
