Comments : Beautiful (Acrostic)

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This was a cute little acrostic... I myself seldom write them and they can be challenging to get a message across, but I like how you went with simplicity and some adjectives to show this encouragement.

    I wasn't too fond of the second to last line and your use of "rivited". Firstly, if you are using that word it should be: "riveted". Secondly, that word means rooted, fixed, or mesmerized BY something. I don't think it fit here.
    You could use "revered" or "respected"?

    "your" should be "you're" in the last line.

    One more thing I'm going to comment on since this was such a short poem. I want to suggest with future poems to even go deeper and get more original. Your one line in this poem "free as a bird" is a simple cliche which I didn't mind, but it is used very generally.

    Keep writing!