Ugh....I shouldn't have read this...I'm going through this with my dad and I can't seem to post about It...I can't seem to make it poetic like this and release it the way you do..my poetry about my dads cancer is far from beautiful like this.....such a sad experience for them and for love ones....hang in there, I now see the rough road you've been going through...love you!

Andrea, I have to say that just from knowing you a little and for a short amount of time, you are one of the strongest people I can think of. You have the kindest heart and love just pours from you. I know you are going through so much pain from losing Momma Pike and dealing with your husbands cancer. I can't even begin to imagine the heartache you suffer everyday and of the wear and tear of worrying about him takes a toll on you, too. Just know that I'm thinking/praying for you guys, dear. You are a lovely soul that deserves only the best.

Now on to this beautiful, heartbreaking poem:

First stanza: Your opening already speaks of sadness... of choking on words, maybe the inability to write due to so many different emotions, or just the disinterest of writing due to being stressed/worried. Either way, you have reached the breaking point... reached that point of NEED to write instead of want...a need of releasing emotions from your heart.

Third/Fourth stanza: I sense that he is depressed and is shutting you out. You feel helpless, you show him love, compassion, understanding, etc... but yet he just doesn't let you in. Life, and love has become a routine in your household...just like him refusing medication, which is a sign of giving up. But you don't, no matter how much he rejects your love, rejects his medication, you are there. You will always be there because that is your duty, you are his wife, his rock, his everything... and even though you may begin to crumble and break... you will endure it because you love him.

Cancer is every evil creature combined. I lost my grandpa to it and it was devastating to watch him suffer. It most certainly is torture for him, but also you.

Always in my thoughts. <3