Comments : Moving

  • 11 years ago

    by Britt

    There is such longing and heartache in this poem. I instantly felt like I was back to the time when my Grandma passed away, and I helped go through her belongings. It was bittersweet, all the memories, but knowing we weren't able to create any more.

    You have a certain way about your writing, that makes me feel an old-soul type feeling, and maybe that's why I love your poetry so darn much.

    I will say, I FINALLY have a criticism in one of your poems. Mark this on the calendar, I think this is a first!

    "Dusty, with the familiar v-shaped chip. " this, alone, is fragmented (feeling). I know it connects well within the structure and I really love the description, but I think it shouldn't be a sentence on its own, you know? Just a thought. :)

    Amazing, as always. Brought me back to a softer time :)

  • 11 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Ah so simple, so far from sappy, and so sentimental. I love this. Pulls at the ol' heartstrings.
    "swansong of shower singing
    four years old."
    ^Excellent alliteration.
    Oh, and Icarus is a nice touch.

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Loved the atmosphere this created, just in the opening line with the introduction of that special tea mug. It made it personal, cozy, as well as something others may have overlooked, but you can perceive their character from this. It also gave me a look into this gentle moment where you seem to stop whatever you are doing, and reminisce. You are able to admire yet softly mourn the loss of these moments you observed for however long.

    That second stanza was powerful in those few words and I also enjoyed the Icarus reference.

    The last stanza was intriguing, and made me think of memories we cherish but don't necessarily have a way to continue being a part of them without force.

    Beautiful poem, imagery, wording. Congrats on the win!

  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Just as the title, the poem itself is moving. The sentiments are expressed so tenderly and vividly. I feel the loneliness this write holds..beautiful.

    Congrats on the win!

  • 11 years ago

    by PorcelainMoon

    Wow, just wow.

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    Judging comment:

    I loved this poem in the challenge and am so glad Colm posted it. I love his phrasing, he has a way about him that you just know it's his writing. There are so many images, this poem is packed with them, and that's something else I love. This poem had a touch of sadness, but also a bit of relief to me as well. Change is always hard, but necessary. I love that this is a poem that can be taken in different ways, too. Also love the reference to Icarus. Such a creative poem!