Everyone who reads this please show support and vote, it's my first one, help me become a better poem...

This actually reminds me of one of my first ....
not at all bad

This is really good more like a sad love story but it flowed nicely not to much rhyme and I'm sure alot of us can relate beside the suicide over love thing and some even may relate to that.. I like it's surrealness..life like..

Wow wow wow and wow!!!! What am intense, deep set and heart wrenching poem.the poem reads very much like a rap but somehow that makes the feelings more intense.I hope to read more of your works!!!! :-)

It's so moving. It made me cry (I am an emotional wreck yes). I like the flow of it. Also there's this line, you might want to have a look at it: I was committed to put always put a smile on your face. (Typographical error)

It' is over... 3 words that play and play in my head lol sad, emotional piece.
Em