I'm really not sure what to say here, about the content of the piece because I'm really quite conflicted about it. Maybe I am just over thinking it or I cant understand because I wouldnt know where the feeling comes from?

However, I can give you a technical aspect, which is pretty much all my comments seem to be good for.

There is a lot of description that is not vivid but not plain either. It's quite interesting actually. And that description pulled me into part of the scene and kinda made me understand a little, which is a great skill. And may have been more effective for other readers. Your word choice was quite simple though not boring such a short piece, you did well with that too. Your voice and personality really show through with this piece, though in some places more than others. There is a lot of emotion that feels as though it has been surpressed here or toned down, though it was nice to at least see hints of it, after all thats one of the main points or reasons for poetry.

Well written as far as skill goes. I'll try to read again later for a bettter understanding of your content