I sit here staring at you.
Out of necessity.
Out of desire.
Out of need.
Out of love.
And I try to distract myself
As much as possible
To not stare.
By daydreaming..
But I daydream about you.
I daydream of you speaking softly, from behind me, into my ear. Almost whispering. And the heat from your breath against my cheek and neck.
I daydream of you taking me by the arm and turning me around. To end up looking at me straight in the eyes and wanting to kiss me.
I daydream all day long. And dream all night about you.. Just you.
And when I'm with u and not daydreaming. I am controlling myself with all the possible strength I have to not grab you. Push you against a wall and kiss you in the most seductive, intimate and passionate way that I can.
I long for you.
I sit and look at you and how it kills me just not to be able to tell u.
How beautiful you are.
Control is what it takes.
Strength.
And when I know I cannot endure it anymore.
I'll walk away, I promise.
But I don't ever want you to think that if I avoid you it is because of something wrong.
If I hardly look at you, it's because I can't take the pain of looking at such beauty, knowing It can never belong to me.
If I hardly talk to you, it's because I can't take the pain of you ignoring me and preparing myself for when you will stop talking to me.
If I don't want to be around its because your presence scrambles my mind. And I'm so afraid of letting out words that, I know, you don't want to hear.
Don't ever take anything wrong.
My heart is yours.
Know that.
