Fourth floor; chemistry. I watched
how pigeons tumbled from rooftops
as if mock-ups, how curiosity killed,
more than four pairs of more-than
black-and-white wings striking
against glass, tempting suicide
just to rise again.

- very vivid imagery to start a poem with,. I like how you immediately give the place of the scene, in that chemistry class. And then give us the vision you see through the window. It has a very mysterious tone to it, dark with depression and sadness.

I'd rise with the school bell. Head full
of philosophy, no idea why I'd spot jaw-
dropping smileys when drawing oxygen.
I thought I could become an artistic poet
and blow up logic. Gasoline. How I loved
the melody of gasoline. I still pronounced it
as if there's class to my accent.

- mentioning the philosophy is very fitting here, because after the first scene, it is up tot he reader to think about what you took from the pigeon scene and to work out what you meant by it, and what it was relating to. Then to talk about the gasoline to blow up any logic, wow, great idea. I think this can show the great desperation to get rid of what is in our heads sometimes.

That was then.

- well done for setting this out this way - shows us this was a flashback and now you will bring us to a different time slot.

First floor; product design. I watch wood
tumble from vices, I watch everything
tumble, and I'm something between everything.
I learnt to draw cubes to the size of my confidence.
I learnt to fit as many onto paper, not
to put it to waste. I know I'm a waste of space.

- really deep emotions here, I like how you change the tense so we know this is in the present. I think it shows how little confidence you have in yourself, and when we have no confidence in ourselves, we have no confidence or hope in the world. I really like your use of the boxes to represent this, very well done. And to leave us with what you think of yourself, gives us empathy and we connect with you as a writer even more

I live on the fifteenth floor, sleep
on a head-thick mattress,
and I can't dream.

- I see a pattern emerging here about being high up and always being off the ground, so to speak.

I wander around university, compare
the size of my brains to my mouth's.
And I've always been quiet so I fill up
my years of silence with explosions.
I cry and babble bipolar nonsense
and there's dissonance in my voice,
hoping to become something after all.

- the bipolar here makes so much sense and fits intot he emotions on the poem, the changes of thoughts and times and how one minute something can mean one thing, but in the next it can change, Very well described.

It's already my second Fall
of harsh winds, and my mind
is discolouring.

- I actually imagine the leaves here and how they can be compared to humans so much and the changes they go through, and how they are judged and treated.

I wish for my old chemistry teacher
to take me back to the fourth floor, back
to my own school desk.

- great way to end for the style of poem it is, to take us back to that flashback which is what made you write this to begin with,.

Another deep poem but I really liked the style of it, the time change through out and the bipolar emotions of how things get so messed up inside the head.

I relate to this poem of yours also, and I feel you done a very good job with the wording and the title.

The personification of pigeon is really wonderful and I like the way that you said about your little confidence.
overall it's a great poem.