Very simple but I love your enthusiasm here. My only suggestion would be to give more imagery and appeal to the senses... instead of just describing this wonderland to the reader, show the reader. What's the temperature like? Is it an actual place or a metaphor for the way you feel, the strange moments you come across? You can expand or add on and still write it with simplicity and flow. |
by Danarile
Thank you very much for the help ^^ |