Comments : Painting

  • 11 years ago

    by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko

    This is well-penned :))) I really love paintings... The way you describe a painting here is excellent :)))

    We live in a painting of undefinable beauty
    A star filled haze without definition.

    --- Life is a painting... It is beautiful but it is also full of uncertainty :))

    An image that has already surpassed human meaning.

    --- I really adore this line :))) An image that is surpassing the meaning of being a human?? I wonder what would that be...

    The trees that caress the wind was no mere accident.

    --- I love the imagery of this part... Everything happens for a reason... It is destined for the trees to caress the wind.

    We are sculpted by an artist's view of beauty, his own interpretation.

    ---Everyone is a wonderful creation :)) God created us so we are wonderful :)) I love the idea of this part :))

    we are a moving image of that can not be contained in the simple swish of a paintbrush.

    --- No one can ever define in this world :)) It is up to us how we create ourselves... We are given the ability to paint our own life with whatever colors we want ;)))

    I really enjoyed reading it :)) I love this piece so much :))) 5/5

    --- MKKK

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    We live in a painting of undefinable beauty

    - I like this statement as the opening line - very powerful and quite philosophical.

    A star filled haze without definition.
    - again - I like what you offer with this - how unpredictable life is, and we have to just make of it what we can.

    You run to recreate
    An image that has already surpassed human meaning.

    - This is aimed at society here and very relevant, it shows how the world is changing because society has changed its standards, and therefore shapes what the future standards will be also.

    The trees that caress the wind was no mere accident.

    - I think here you are meaning the fact of mother nature, the fact that things are the way they are, despite how we try to change them.

    We are sculpted by an artist's view of beauty, his own interpretation.
    - I like how you have used "his own" here, because everybody has their own definition and view of beauty. But I also like how this line says more about how we let other people shape us and give us that belief of what beauty should be.

    we are a moving image of that can not be contained in the simple swish of a paintbrush.

    - I think you need to remove the word "of" between "image" and "that", it does not fit there.

    I like your idea of the poem, and the deep meaning it holds about life, and beauty and how our minds can be shaped from other peoples views and beliefs around us.

    I think to give your poem more impact, you should work a little on your layout and punctuation. It will show the reader when to break and pause, and then give your images much more impact.

    Good poem.