I think for your first attempt this is a very good write. Very sad though. I love the small story you wrote though. It seems to tell a story of a girl whos life is shattered from this person leaving. Maybe a first or only love. We all make mistakes too and not a lot of people understand that at all. You do have to live your own life though and then you can finally start over. There is always a silver lining to everything. Anyway. This is a good write :)

I have nothing to say about your piece it is so small and straight forward . I agree with redangelwings' comment.

Ad sweet heart please change your name it is neither worthy of you nor your poetry.
peace!!