Comments : Hush

  • 11 years ago

    by Redangelwings

    First- I love how you make this seem like a lullaby here. Another The poem as a whole is great. I love each character you write about too. Okay here I love how you say the darkness is "the new light". You seem to say that death will end all your pain. In a way it kinda does but it's difficult when you don't want it. But you say this little girl lives with so much pain already. I love the vague feeling you leave us with. Again the tone is very dark and the start leaves me wanting more.

    Second- I love how the "main" character is some kind of slave to this "siren". The little boy is more likely to follow though because of curiousity. It's sad that he doesn't know the lies but that's the point of it all I think. This person will give them everything only to be lead into their impending doom. The other question to ask is do the boy and girl know each other or are they brother or sister? Who reslly knows.

    Third- This is where the height of the poem comes to life. The monster is your pet and you are the evil " siren" not the slave. You are luring little children to their doom but why is the question. Are you bloodlust? Maybe in this person's mind that the "darkness" will really save them. This person finds children who hurt and feed the to your monster of death.

    Fourth- The raven is a very nice touch here. The darkness tone is really sensed strongly. The eerie creepy feeling gives me chills. The raven is singing a victory screech maybe? Like when a bell rings. I am not really sure haha. Ending- I love how you talk halloween here. The night belongs to the darkness per say. Anyway overall this is a great poem. The tone gave me an eerie feeling inside and tbe connection to each stanza is great. Well done.