A Way Out

I absolutely love this poem - it's dark and another seamless collaboration. It's amazign, I honestly cannot differentiate between who wrote which stanza, that takes a lot of skill to be able to adjust your writing slighty so it mirrors/synchronizes with the other poet.

You two should really write more often - it's honestly so natural, the flow and the poem's just flawless. I honestly refuse to believe that it's a collaboration - it's that seamless!

The topics that you chose to write is a wonderful blend of events that are 'modern' in a sense, but still would relate to the older generations - it's great that you find something to write about that can span age-gaps and a lot of people could relate to. A modern poet with classical roots is how I'd describe you both - it's rare to read such poetry like that, these days!

"But he didn't leave
Asking me if I wanted to take the pain away
When I looked at him I could see
Were his amber eyes&a smile so bright
Flowers confused it with the sun
It felt like he knew me my whole life
&it was he that had the answer to my pain
He asked me to extend my hand as
If to ask me to dance but what I received was a way out"

This was what I meant by modern poet with classical roots - it's a beautiful image that everyone can relate to. I truly miss reading poems like these - their timeless, and will be cherished by everyone. It's a romantic scene that's both melancholic in a sense, and joyful. It's crazy how you conveyed opposite emotions with minimal effort!

Overall: Another amazing collaboration, like I probably mentioned in all of my other comments, just the punctuation needs some work. Other than that, you two are excellent poets, and I cannot wait to read more by you two!

I loved how you conveyed your emotions. It gave me a picture someone assuming the stance of a storyteller. Or perhaps a student reading out a poem in front of a class. Your 1st line got me engaged from the start. An exemplary way to kickstart the poem.

1st & 2nd Stanza:
I could decipher a subject narrating a gloomy part of his/her life here. A formative part of the subject precisely. Not a fictional story as one may assume. And the 3rd line of the 1st stanza got me thinking perhaps the dilemma can be self-attributed.

3rd & 4th Stanza:
This introduced the dark tone of the poem to me. It gives off a miserable tone and gets one to feel the subjects pain. It sheds light on how people can assume a joyous surface while they're wallowing in agony. No one is sincere in expressing their true self. Destiny wasn't just to them and they gave in to life's uncertainties.

One has no choice than to live life like a puppet. The fake life of all around is a burden to bear and sickening enough. At the brink of your misery your path cross part with an angel.

5th, 6th & 7th Stanza:
This persons presence in your life is a blessing to you. He/she changed your outlook on life. The shrouding darkness you're plunged in diminished with this persons arrival. Light suddenly clouded your aura, overpowering your dim existence. Misery vanished from your sight and happiness enveloped you.

8th & 9th Stanza:
Here you're expressing your gratitude for this persons existence in your life. How much joy you're experiencing due to this person. And how he/she got you to see life in a different perspective. I sensed that from your last stanza. You conveyed this good samaritan's exit in you life. Perhaps he/she is no more in your life but left an engraved footprint in your heart.

A well thought out piece. Written impeccably. Kudos!

I like the feel of this piece and the twist from common stories and over used twists or cliches. I like the flow and the word choice very much. The style doesn't quite do.the piece much justice though..

Wow! this is amazing. It felt kinda dark and twisty, and sweet, i really like this piece