My addiction

by UtterlyAlive   Nov 12, 2013


I look to yesterday,
And I'm able to see,
All the happiness,
That used to be

The smiles and laughter,
I know they still show,
But the feeling behind them,
Left long ago

But I can't let them see,
For what will they say?
They all think I'm happy,
But I've lead them astray

They'll never guess,
And they'll never know,
About the girl,
Falling to the darkness below

Depression is a place,
I never thought I'd be,
But I'm tied down by its chains,
And I can't break free

In this prison,
I'm left chained and bound,
I try to scream,
But I can't make a sound

So I show on my body,
What words can't express,
It's my cry for help,
To show you I'm a mess

I'm lost and confused,
I have no where to go,
I'm addicted to pain,
A pain you'll never know

So I'll cut and I'll bleed,
Just to know I'm alive,
On all those days,
When I'm torn up inside

Don't mark me as crazy,
Don't label me as weird,
I'm honestly just scared,
For my death is feared

I know what I can do,
With a blade in my hand,
For the voice in my head,
Is always in command

But slitting my wrists,
Helps me survive,
It's honestly the reason,
That I'm still alive

I feel numb for a moment,
No pain in my mind,
I forget all my problems,
And peace I find

For a moment it's all gone,
And I'm still alive,
But it's only a minuet,
Before my problems begin to arrive

Now they're back,
And the cycle goes again,
My worst enemy,
And my closest friend

But I'm still here,
I didn't die,
I feel better,
I want to survive

Cutting may be a problem,
But it's the only way,
That I'm ever going to live,
To see another day

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This is... full of of sadness that leads to put it all out here. I like how you worded it through out the whole thing. In the start you seem to have hope and happiness. I think if you have an addiction whatever it is it's hard to remember what it's truly like to be happy. It's easy to fake a smile on the outside. In the end we don't want people to know what we have inside. Even if our closest friends see it we still have to fake it. We are always afraid to hear what our friends will say. I agree with that line. I like how you said the darkness below as well because it's like you are saying you are at rock bottom. Now the whole poem I feel tells a real story about addiction. I love the flow you used and wording as well because I think a lot of people can relate. It seems you made it very personal and it works well because it makes for a better poem as a whole. The imagery is deep and I could feel the pain of the character who cuts. I also like how you make this person the focus throughout. Point of view is always great to use to make the reader connect to it more. The rhyming is great as well and consistent which is a plus. I love the ending because it wraps the poem up Well. You are saying in order to survive you must self harm and it's sad but a lot of people think like this. Anyway. This is a great poem overall. I saw no mistakes and the stanzas flow so smoothly. 5

  • 11 years ago

    by xxOutcastQueenxx

    Wow. This poem is amazing. I just wanted to say your not alone.

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