Illegal Thoughts

by Poet on the Piano   Nov 17, 2013


She was stopped by two trains today,
two minutes away from work and as
the gears powerfully shifted while she
U-turned, a voice itched its way into
her mind.

Lay down, lay down...

Nights ago after dusk had spoken,
she snuck back to the tracks near
her home, sprinting in and out of
those pulsating streetlights.
Piles of chalky rock never gave her
away, and so with hat and gloves on,
she prostrated herself on the tracks,
feeling metal,
hoping it would roar..

yet no train whistled that night.

And each time red glimmers and bars
descend, there is some unstable thought
coercing her to be under every train
and play like she's invincible.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by David Amenger

    Only a writer with confidence can birth this class of poem.Am loving this despite the emotional groans I hear deep inside my soul.Cool.

  • 11 years ago

    by Ingrid

    This really hits the reader deep in the gut. The pain of life, that can go so deep, it makes you want to flirt with death...and yet, the irriversibility of the act keeps you from going that route.

    Well done, MaryAnne, you captured the emotion really well:)

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Okay, MaryAnne. Firstly, I want to say that this piece really sank deep into me and I hope that this isn't personal to you in that way.
    I could feel a deep anger in this piece, almost reserved, like the amount of times this person goes to end there life just to find that it isn't the time for it to happen, you know.

    I felt the emotion in the words, even though it was still smooth and kept in check through the final lines.

    I love the title, as how the thoughts of suicide are illegal, as if they shouldn't be thought, because we'd be punished.

    What a piece, amazing and once again, I hope that this isn't personal to your thoughts and if it is, you know you can message me any time right?

    Hugs and love,
    xx

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