Goodbye World

*Time of momentarily feeling like I'm falling from a tree and I just hit the largest branch*

I thought I was over my depression
But one raging disappointment can bring it all back down
I thought that I was stronger than this
Yes I realize now all my strength was given to me by you
One out of many reasons why I love you
And no matter what I always will

Pan shots through me constantly
And I write a message to you in the window
Tears fall down my face that won't stop
As I stare into the fog
I feel lost and I lock myself in the bathroom when I get home and as soon as the door closes I stop uncontrollably
Every time I reach out to you you go farther away
Just when I feel I belong you find something better to do
And I feel lost in the fog and I can't shake off these feelings
Am I more stunned by how strong my feelings for you are from how your feelings are for me

I wonder how come I need you so
When you are never around
And I know you don't understand
I hope if you read this you won't think badly of me
But for once I count on the fact you are so busy you won't have time to read my newest poem like always

But I care about you wholeheartedly
And the crack through my heart is not fake nor the butterflies I had felt today
I wanted you to ask the question but you never did
I respect your decision and I want you to wait until you are ready, I just wish you had understood how much it meant to me to say it all and have you stick around to listen
I fell in love with you
I know it is not puppy love and we are not like most couples
It just is that I poured my heart out to you and said what was not the least bit easy to say
It hurts to know I'm not worth any comments, or time, or communication but I know I have said that before when my heart was opened up to you to extreme lengths
You put me aside while you watched me hold out my heart to you, you put it aside
And now I wonder what you think of me without knowing
I feel like what's the point of breathing if you're not breathing with me