Pushed through the door of adolescence and a teen,
Maturing with all the past acquaintances that have turned so mean,
Watching friends turn their backs on each other when they are needed the most,
Seeing rich and popular guys sit with their friends while they happily boast,
I watch the world around me as it changes from a blue mist,
Looking at your cold lips that I once so pleasantly kissed,
I look down to my hips that are way too large,
Let my heart tell me what to do instead of letting my brain be in charge,
I examine my butt which is way too small,
See the girls on TV that think they got it all,
The blonde hair and blue eyes,
Everything comes naturally to them which is no surprise,
I tried so hard to change myself to be accepted,
And that is the biggest thing in life that I have always regretted,
I changed myself to fit in with a “group”,
Well more or less I was only thrown through a loop,
I hated being on the outside looking in,
I was never perfectly pretty or never perfectly thin,
And you showed me a way to the door of my dreams,
Where I am not judged by what I say but only what I mean,
This life I want so badly to live,
Sucks away my strength and all else I have to give,
I have to look at the girls who starve themselves,
And try to fit in so badly just like everybody else,
This is who I’ve become and this isn’t what I want to be,
To have past friends say “I can’t stand her or her stupid mentality”,
I’m just another face in the crowd staring up at the stage,
Wondering if I’ll understand with oncoming age,
Will it ever be my time to shine like a star?
To tell the world that I am different and I could be going far?
I am different then what lies within,
My story is too long and I wouldn’t know where to begin,
My life it seems is moving in slow motion,
Tears and curses scattered throughout the ocean,
I will be different someday because I accepted me for me,
Now my final task is to show you who I can be,
Look within my soul so gray,
Rewind back to another day,
Press the play button and try to hit record,
See all my interests and what I do when I’m bored,
I am not like the girls you see on TV,
I am who I am and who I am is me,
So don’t worry about missing your chance to look deeper inside,
I have no emotions or guilty secrets to hide,
I’m not changing and I am staying this way,
I will be me forever, til my last God given day.
