I See No Changes

I see no changes, I see hate between strangers.
Paranoia exists in me when I'm faced to being the victim of crime and danger.

I can feel the violence even when I'm in my sleep,
My dreams often take me to a realm where I'm forced to be weak.

In my dreams, I'm walking home peacefully and cautiously accompanied by the moon,
And all of a sudden I see two shadowy figures after me and there's nothing I can do.

But run, I run and try to survive the footsteps stampeding towards my back,
But I can't make it far so there I lay on the ground with my body cracked,

By bullets that fill me in and empty out my blood,
In my dreams I'm just another homicide in the hood.

Every time I walk home, I always picture these scenarios,
I see it, then I dream it, and I wake up in the morning screaming at the top of my tonsils.

These dreams are caused by my reality,
My reality of owning such a helpless Asian male identity,

Earlier today when I was on the bus,
I seen two facial expressions that hinted murderers.

With their sinister look, they mugged at me for the entire bus ride,
Bus rides like this taught me the power of the corner of my eyes.

According to my street smarts, these two dudes wasn't checking me out,
I could hear their thoughts from their presence; I knew what this was all about.

This wasn't about them being broke or resorting to robbery to feed their family,
This was about the animosity within em' to hurt me.

This was about me being Asian, me being weak,
Me being a stereotype that every other person of color I met believes.

And yes, I fear that I am an easy constant target,
So here I am on the bus as I imagine a scene with me marching as far as I can get to the exit.

Until I realized that the whole time I was in thought of precautions,
The corner of my eyes seen the two people attend the back door as it opened.

And in my breath of relief I prepare for the very next stop,
Before I meet my exit, I pray for the next 5 minutes I have to walk.

As I leave the bus and thank the driver,
I ask myself if I'll remain tonight's survivor.

Minutes pass by as each step steps on fear,
And in front of my house I am, I am finally here.

It's like I have to earn the right to feel safe nowadays,
And as an Asian male I've always been a victim of crime and danger, I see no changes.