Comments : Chasing Windmills

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This reminds me of the Mortal Instruments Series (definitely a series you should check out if you haven't already-I started reading on Thursday night and have almost finished the fourth book already!...Unless this is based on them already haha!!)

    "Your delusional alter ego
    lives in denial,
    chasing personas
    with no shadows."

    This makes me think the person spoken about is trying his/her hardest to live as normal..in daylight, as a human. Not a creature of the night and fighting to remain "alive" no matter what it costs them or their loved ones.

    "Your trench coat and badge
    may fool others
    yet...
    how long can you fool yourself?"

    ^^This reminds me of Dracula and Angel, simply because of the trench coat haha. (Angel, also a series you should check out-though it's a spin off from Buffy so check that first!)

    "If you still had a reflection
    what would it tell you?"

    ^^ I LOVE this, favourite part! I think, anyone and everyone can relate to this when going through difficult and dark times in their lives...as, we're always our own worst enemy/critic so of course the mirror will be too. it shows us everything that we hate.

    "your soul covers the mirror
    so you have yet to discover
    your transparency."

    ^^hmmm. I DO love this...but at the same time, I don't think you ended as strongly as you could have (you know us, we're very alike in that we're very picky hahaha!!!)

    I think the prior lines, the reflection and what would it tell you, would work better as an ending/closing as it leaves your reader free to imagine and/or come to their own conclusion.

    I just realized I recommended several books/shows throughout-if you haven't read or watched I promise they are good and worth it!

    I'm not used to seeing a dark genre from you and I have to say I really like this, although I wasn't too keen on the closing for reasons I explained above I do think you did a very good job with this!

  • 10 years ago

    by Meme

    I always enjoy your dark pieces Hellon. They run deep through the readers minds and they last a while in your thoughts.

    Great job on this one dear :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Skyfire

    Last stanza was amazing.