Denial

Oh my, this has absolutely broken my heart! You have a way with words that just completely takes me on a journey of your heart. I think it may also be because I think I know what/who you are talking about, but I could be wrong. Either way, a very touching piece.

In the opening, I envision you tiptoeing to check on him. Since you say it's three am, it gives off the image that you haven't yet went to bed, possibly still up due to stress/insomnia. During these late hours, you repeatedly check on him to make sure he's comfortable, needs anything and honestly just checking to make sure he's still breathing. Maybe the fear of going to sleep and missing something he may need is what is keeping you up.

You wish for his sleep to be free of pain because lately he's even in pain while he rests. :(

I like how you incorporated his eyelashes! I think it's beautiful when lover's watch one another sleep, you focus on the little things that maybe during the day you don't notice so much. Eyelashes are always looked over due to the fact that when we're awake, our eyes are what draws us in instead.

"I'm forced to asphyxiate on reality-"

I love this line, it holds so much emotion behind it. Reality is here and you can't help but choke at the thought of it. I think you are using this in two ways, though. The idea of feeling suffocated and also the choking on reality with tears... I've always heard the phrase "choking tears back" as a form to keep oneself from sobbing. It works both ways here.

After that line, you talk of the future. That a time will come when his spirit lingers inside you and that you will always cherish the memories you shared together.

Now for the ending, I see you changed it from the first time I read this. I have to admit, I think I liked the original ending better. I don't think you were talking about an actual door, more so of a hypothetical door...you didn't want to enter the door of reality. You wanted to stay in denial forever in hopes that it was all just a mistake or a bad nightmare.

I do like the new ending, though. It has the question hanging in the air... but I suppose that's life, too. You are always left hanging on the edge, asking questions and waiting for answers.

I nominated this, dear. Hope it wins, it's truly just one of those poems that would capture any reader's heart and make them feel every ounce of pain you drip into your words.

I'm sorry I haven't visited your poems in a while...to be honest, I haven't commented on much of late and...generally when I do it's when the member is signed in at the same time as me and...for some reason, you seldom are these days.

This poem is very sad indeed and it makes my stomach heave wondering if it's about who I thing it may be...if so, I know you are strong enough to see this one through also...you both are! Don't know what else to add...oh yes...a suggestion...I always have one of them haha!!!

I don't wish to enter that door, ever....

^^^

This suggests that you are in a bedroom but you start the poem off with tiptoeing past the bedside...doesn't line up I feel technically? Also..I would give it a much stronger finish..slamming the door shut or something. Actually I'd finish with a question....If I slam the door shut will our memories remain intact?...will it keep you safe?...something like that????

First- This poem really is powerful. I love the use of tip-toe here. I cam imagine a little kid not being able to sleep at all. They sneak to this other person who is sleeping and feel their heartbeat. For me the emotion and connection is so close as the characters are very relatable to real life. Dreams can be very powerful and here each drwam is very hurtful and this little kid (or I thinl) is checking in on this person here. The middle line is one of the most powerful I have ever read. You choke on reality and it seems like your reality is more hurtful than even your dreams.

Ending- Memories are also very powerful and the wording ypu used here is impeccable and flawless. Very emotional indeed. Spirits are always inside us and we will always remember the good times we have. The last line I believe wraps up the poem so very well. Overall again this is a beautiful and impactful write. I believe you said what you wanted to say here and you affect the reader greatly. There is powerful in your words again. Excellent job

Andrea, this was so powerful and almost moved me to tears... that ending reached out to my heart. I honestly feel this is one of your strongest poems.... there is every kind of emotion here that is crying out to the reader. Absolute love, a longing for peace and no pain, fear of reality, a desire to keep making memories. Wow. I have no more words for this.