Hallelujah.

I LOVE THIS, This is honestly one of the best short poems I have ever read. I love how you give so much perspective to each the main character, and the other character whose actions are the impact here. There seems to be a lot of religious tones here, one for god and one who is an atheist ( or so it seems). I love first off how you used the word 'hum'. It is normally used as a happy tone but you did well here to twist it around.

While the "action character" might be using it as a happy tone ( singing to God maybe) you see it in a different light here. The other character sees it as a fault. I love that. and something else to point out, this could be from personal experience and The two characters could be the same one, one who is showing and one who is doing. What I mean is, one could be thinking all the negative things, Like no matter what you do no one will hear you, and the other side is the action, where no matter what this person wont show how much pain is inside of them. Just a thought that could be.

Overall this piece I feel is stunning and everything a short piece should, the imagery (as subtle as some might think is there, But that to me leads into a deeper meaning) and the metaphors alone are amazing and well versed. 5/5 I wish I could nominate this haha. I would if I could.

This is really simple but deep and powerful. It speaks so much in so few lines, and really touches the heart.
xx