Persephone And Songs That Fall (Tanka)

A nice attempt at a Tanka. hehe The rotten tomatoes threw me off guard, I've been scratching my head trying to decipher what in the world you were trying to say, then I can only assumed that's what you meant by "deciphered melodies fall." Though you were comparing the rotten tomatoes to shooting stars, I guess people did not liked to decipher the melodies.. so they shoot some tomatoes instead in hope it will grant them a wish and the lullabies would end? or would turn into decipherable ones?

Sweet imagination....

To comment on this poem, you really need to know who Persephone was. Here is a link for those of you interested. http://www.theoi.com/Khthonios/Persephone.html

I can see the comparison about songs, lullabies as related to the "grains and fruits of spring" fall to earth. I am not sure why you used "rotten tomatoes" other than to indicate something bad in dark nights are their shooting stars. That phrase doesn't fit in and not sure what you could replace it with.