That Girl

The only thing I didn't like about this poem was the rhyming. Granted it is VERY difficult to make a good rhyming poem though. Anyway it seems like you rhymed to fit the poem. That's just me. Other than that I actually liked the poem. This is about a girl in high school or college that gets over looked by all of her friends. No one understands what she is really going through. The wording you used really does tell a good story though. The tone is sadness and you used very dark words to enhance the meaning and what you wanted to say. Good job for that. You did a great job with the imagery as well and detailing the characters very well. You have this girl who is physically and emotionally scarred but deep down inside all she wants to be feel loved inside and out. No one knows what she is going through because no one wants to ask. They are very scared and judgemental. Another thing I liked is how you detailed the enviroment and the kids around it. High school kids are very immature and you detail that well. The girl is very strong to hold on through out their life. Beautiful write too. Oh I forgot to say that the title works well. "That girl" is perfect because no one notices this girl and she is just an invisible girl whose name no one knows. Good job.

We need to talk soo neither of us do it again

Yah ok.. love you too

:(

Hun relax I love you. Even when I'm upset doesn't mean I don't care about you