Crows.

Judging comment:

"Emotions are not exclusive from
violent bursts of negative energy"

This. These are the single two lines that captivated me and made me absolutely adore this poem. I truly believe this is one of the best openings that I have ever come across, not just on P&Q but with every poem I have read, including professional authors.

The next line has me questioning-why are you better than last September? What happened in September? And I love that, as it adds a sense of mystery and curiosity.

"Don't you see the men?
Over in the corner? They're waiting
to bury me, bury you."

This is kind of creepy, and makes me think of horror movies, the fear of the unknown cuts into the reader here, adding an unparrell sense of fear for their own life-why are these men waiting to bury them? And I love the dark twist this poem suddenly takes here.

"Do I dare, do I even dare
croak out the syllables
of my name?"

I haven't listened to the song Mary-Anne posted at the bottom, so I'm not sure if this ending will have relevance or not, but I can't make my mind up here on whether this is a strong ending, sometimes it seems it is when I read it and then others I don't believe it is strong as it could be.

All in all however, I love this poem and it's refreshing and rare to see a dark poem from this author and I think she did a commendable job with it.

In my opinion, nearly every word in this poem has been well chosen and sculpted to give the reader a true experience: a glimpse into your experiences. I interpret this as a description of PTSD, though I'm not sure what happened to the writer. I think maybe that's what makes it so strong though. Without expressly describing what happened then and what's happening now, you've managed to communicate the feeling, to show us the fear, the vulnerability, and struggle of managing the unbidden memories that pop up out of nowhere. I especially like the start, the straight forward voice that immediately admits to the reader that you're "better than last September", but immediately contrasts sparkling snow with shattering glass. The poem is graphic and questioning, a great combination. The only line I think should be reexamined is "Decompose me, slowly" because I'm not sure why you would want someone else to decompose you? Instead, if you considered something simpler, like "Watch me, carefully, as I try on new injuries that..." etc. Something that tied in to the rest of the stanza more concretely. Aside from that, this poem is gold. The last few lines are heartbreaking and oh so real. I truly truly hope the poet is alright, this poem makes me want to hug you until everything is all better, and I suppose that is the greatest heartbreak of this poem. That the horrible thing has passed, but it haunts you still, even in the sparkling snow. Excellent job!

This one was awing! The words the way they made you think and fill were amazing!

So MaryAnne, how do you do it? Take a feeling, take a moment in time, a thought and turn into something so beautiful yet haunting at the same time.

You have this way with words, that leaves me feeling breathless, totally lost in the emotions, imagery and keeps me questioning and thinking long after I've finished reading.

This piece, it's just remarkably eerie yet there is something about the way you wrote this, like it's still beautiful. It's raw and deep, but it's still so exquisite that it's perfect.

Wow, you blew me away once again.

Amazing

xx

Wow, I was blown away by the depth and imagery!!! Amazing and well written! I look forward to reading more from you! :)