I love you daddy (fake)

Sometimes I forget daddy.
Sometimes I forget how it felt to have your cold fingers wrapped around my neck.
Or the way you pushed my body into the ground.
And how I lied there, forcing myself not to say a sound.

Sometimes I forget daddy, how much I held back.
Or how my whole life, I just wanted to make you happy.
But all my effort would turn around on me and end badly.
But daddy sometimes I forget.

And other times I pretend.
I pretend my reality is a dream, just one fake scheme, that I'll wake up from eventually.
So all the bruises that line my arms and legs, I try to forget daddy, but sometimes I can't.

Sometimes when your hitting me daddy, I can't dream.
I can't pretend to leave nor forget it seems.
Those times are the worst.
Those are the times when you have your big outbursts.

Those are the times when you slide the knife across my wrists.
Or pound me with your fists.
Those are the times daddy when you hold me underwater when I try to take a bath.
I'm afraid now daddy, I'm afraid of your wrath.

But please daddy don't leave me, please don't go.
You are all I have left daddy, since mommy died.
I don't care what you do to me daddy, I will never leave your side.
I love you daddy, no matter what you do to me, I promise I'll always wipe your tears when you cry.
I love you daddy, nothing will change that, I love you.

Daddy, God is calling, I have to leave now, goodbye.